Whispers In My Darkness
by RoverGirl
Summary: AU! Pike survives Khan's attack. Christopher Pike is at the bedside of Jim Kirk. Warning: 2 obvious errors! Yes I know Enterprise was built in Iowa and fixed in space. Honest mistakes with answers in the sequel 'Safe Within Your Light'.


Author's Words: I wrote the original story whilst I was out in Cambodia during the summer. I saw Into Darkness a couple of days before I flew out and ended up doing some fan fiction at night time and during my days off on a marine conservation project. This story was the first one I did.

I really liked how Pike and Kirk's relationship was developed within the movie and one of my thoughts after seeing it at the cinema was what if Pike has survived?

Originally called Better With Time, I changed the title as I didn't think it was suitable after I finished pratting about with story. Still not happy with it but please Respond & Review anyway.

Enjoy.

* * *

How could things comes to this?

He gets his hands on the Enterprise, loses that privilege through his own recklessness, gets her handed back to him when that monster attacked then saves the day?

There was no such thing as a no win scenario.

Christopher Pike knew that was and always would be Jim Kirk's philosophy on life.

It was genetic. It was what made Kirk tick.

But in his mind it also meant the young man could and had suffered far too much, especially for one so young and full of life.

Jim Kirk was force to be reckoned with, a born survivor; a champion.

But what made him seem so immortal also highlighted his fragility; his mortal weaknesses.

Christopher ran his right hand through Jim's short dark blonde hair, sadness and failed responsibility glittered his weary eyes.

Jim had risked his life on many occasions, some of them documented, most he suspected, off the record. His crew alone knew how many other times went undocumented in official reports, that went beyond the saving Captain Pike from Nero.

This time Jim had made the ultimate sacrifice: with his life.

Yes his crew had managed to save him in return but Kirk had actually died to save his ship. Kick started the Enterprise's dead unbeating heart without a second though for his own life.

It should've been a no win scenario, but Christopher snorted in amusement, that wasn't Kirk's way.

Never had been. Never would be.

The timely revival of a dead Tribble and the capture of Khan and Kirk's life was saved.

Tribbles.

Another snort of amusement.

Pike remembered reading Kirk's report on that one!

The whole of Starfleet must've read it; it was a real winner! If ever there had been a prize for most entertaining read then Jim would've won it hands down on that account!

He wasn't surprised that it had become unofficial required learning at the Academy.

And then of course there had been the lively communication between them shortly after the Tribbles incident. Off the record of course, though the rest of Starfleet would've loved to hear it, including the interesting imagery and use of alien profanities that would've made a Klingon blush!

That was a simpler time, when Kirk was simply doing what he did best and worst at.

Now it was different.

That same joyful bright young man who had unleashed curses potent enough to make a Vulcan blush bright neon green was lying in a coma, deathly still, pale as the white frost of Andoria, oblivious to world around him, how it was changing, adapting, moving on from what had happened without him consciously walking about, but deeply in their thoughts.

Jim Kirk had gone beyond all call of duty once again.

Now as he lay in a deep unnatural sleep in San Francisco, the Enterprise was being repaired back in Ohio, back where she first took life, of course under the watchful eye of Mr Scott, reporting every little thing to Pike, every complaint about the technicians who were supposed experts in their fields, every new scrape and bump that had been tended to with tender loving care, every improvement, every modification and each and every time enquiring about "that suicidal bastard who knocked me out". It was meant in good humour; Scotty's way of dealing with it.

The Enterprise was Pike's for now but it was temporary.

The Enterprise was always meant to be Kirk's ship and once he'd recovered that's the way it would be.

Pike turned his head and looked at the monitors briefly before looking back at Kirk.

McCoy had warned him about spending too much time by Jim's bedside, said it wasn't healthy for either of them.

But he couldn't stay away. He just couldn't.

Kirk had spotted the danger first and dragged him out of the line of fire as quickly as he could before trying and succeeding in destroying the gunship.

He had tried to defeat Khan then when the monster escaped Kirk had returned to his side, naturally assumed command from Spock and kept him talking, refused to let him fall unconscious until medics and Doctor McCoy arrived.

Now look where they were.

Pike newly released from the medical centre and Kirk firmly in it with McCoy on hand to protect and guide him to full health.

He felt guilty.

Christopher was the reason Kirk joined Starfleet in the first place, he'd convinced him to do so. Starfleet needed more troublemakers like Kirk, more captains who thought on their own two feet, weren't sticklers for the rule book.

Well that's exactly what Kirk wasn't.

He played the game his own way.

And that was the reason Kirk was in a coma.

Because _Captain _Pike had convinced him otherwise.

He had tried to be a good father figure to Jim, point him in the right direction when the rebellious youth needed a kick up the backside.

But he never interfered when it wasn't required, didn't inflict a curfew on him as a cadet, never once criticised him for his playboy lifestyle, nor reprimanded him for the times he'd caught something off of an attractive partner. And he'd always been there to lessen the consequences of Jim's unruly actions, usually by sweet talking a lecturer or offended officer. He was simply there when Jim needed his someone to give a damm, whether he liked it or not or wasn't actually aware of it.

And this was one of those times.

And once again he was filled with worry.

This time was worse though.

What sort of father killed their own son?

Who allowed their son to end up hooked up to a ventilator, under heavy sedation, looking more fragile than a broken bone china tea cup?

He went over it again in his mind.

Jim had dragged him from that room when Khan had attacked. Jim had gotten him clear, stopped Khan attacking them after forcing the meeting of the highest of the Starfleet brass...

His thoughts were mercifully interrupted by the opening of the doors to Kirk's room and Pike didn't even have to guess who had just entered.

"Doctor," he said quietly.

"Admiral," Bone replied as he walked over to the biobed.

"I told you to get some sleep," he reminded as the good doctor went about his checks and scans on his patient.

Christopher moved out of the way, continuing to look at the comatose youngster.

"I did, Doctor," he replied as McCoy scanned for brain activity.

McCoy compared the new readings against the previous sets he'd taken.

"Doesn't look like it, Sir,"

Chris chuckled.

"That's what Jim here does to you," he said gesturing to Kirk.

"Yeah," McCoy agreed looking up from his readouts, "Sleeping Beauty is still causing trouble."

"How is Jim doing?" Chris enquired.

"He's doing fine, the kid's making good progress, don't worry he'll soon be back to causing Starfleet more grief than an army of Nausicaans," Bones assured him as he kept checking over his scans.

Chris chuckled.

"Once he's back in his feet he can have the Enterprise back, I'll be in charge of her until then," he informed McCoy.

"Jim will be glad to hear that when he's finished his nap."

McCoy frowned.

"What is it?" Chris asked.

"Slight elevation of his pulse, white blood cell count is higher than I expected," he replied, turning away from the display unit across the wall.

McCoy picked up a hypospray from his arsenal available, adjusted it and swiftly administered it into one of Kirk's drip lines. He turned his attention immediately back to his patient's biosigns and ran a new set of scans.

Chris didn't realise that he'd taken a deep breath and was holding it in, only letting it go when he saw McCoy visibly relax.

"Okay. Good. He's back to normal," he said before running additional scans then checking Kirk's pupils for reaction to his pen torch.

"Well give him credit, he's putting up a good fight against Khan's superblood."

"Is there much left in his system?"

"There'll always too much left in his system until it's all gone," he replied, "but to answer your question, Admiral, no there's isn't much left in his system now."

Chris returned to Jim's side, sure he wouldn't get in the Doctor's way temporarily.

Bones turned to face him.

"No offence, Sir, but you look worse than Jim does."

Chris smiled.

"That's what a desk job does to you," he replied, unable to hide how tired he was as he chuckled.

"Yeah and Jim's Mary Poppins, you've been worried about him ever since you woke up here after Khan's attack on Headquarters."

McCoy picked up his medical tricorder and began scanning his friend.

"When was the last time you got a full night's sleep?"

"I have no idea," Chris admitted.

"Between Starfleet and Jim you'll end up back in here yourself," McCoy warned.

McCoy looked at the readings and Chris could tell he wasn't impressed with them.

"Once I'm finished with Jim I'm going to run another set of tests on you, they're precautionary, last thing the Enterprise needs is another incapacitated Captain...and I don't think Jim would want to learn his precious ship is in the hands of his first officer after his mentor fell ill because of him," he informed him.

That Chris did laugh at.

"When you put it that way, a good night's sleep sounds like a great idea!"

Chris pitched the bridge of his nose and rubbed his temples. McCoy noted this.

"How much sleep are you getting on average?" he asked.

"Nowhere near as much as Jim is getting," he replied, "on a serious note, I think two, three hours."

"I'll prescribe you a mild sedative," McCoy replied, "that'll hopefully help providing you take it."

"Do I look like I wouldn't take it?"

"Are you the one person Jim actually listens to?" McCoy asked.

Chris rolled his eyes, "yes," he admitted.

He returned his gaze to Jim, placing his own aged right hand over Jim's fragile right hand. Worry spread across his face like a flood across a landscape.

"How much longer will he be out?"

"I'd say another week given his current condition. Try speaking to him, you never know he might actually listen."

"Yeah, maybe," Chris replied, recalling his own coma and at times being able to hear what was going on around him.

He shuddered at the thought of one of those times.

"You okay, Admiral?" McCoy asked.

"Yeah..." he continued gazing at Jim's tired face, "just remembering something."

"That time?"

"That time."

McCoy placed an understanding hand upon his shoulder.

"Did you ever tell him?"

Chris shook his head to indicate no.

A silence fell over them, the only sounds being the monitors indicating Jim's gradually improving vitals.

"Maybe you could tell him now," McCoy suggested after a time, "I'm going to go sort out your scans. Call me if you need me."

"And Jim?"

McCoy showed him a data pad he was holding. It displayed all of Jim's vitals and stats on a live feed. They were all stable.

"I'll know if anything changes," McCoy assured him "he's going to make it, Chris, there's no way I'm letting him go without a fight and he's doing a pretty good job by himself as per usual."

Chris allowed a smile to briefly illuminate his face.

"Okay, Doctor."

McCoy gripped his shoulder a little tighter for a brief second, nodded in agreement then let go and left the room, leaving him alone with Jim.

Taking Jim's hand between both of his now, he gently rubbed soothing circles into the back of it.

"Hello Jim," he began, "I don't know if you can hear me or not...sometimes people in your condition can hear what's going on around them."

Looking down at the small hand in his, part of him still couldn't believe that this was Jim Kirk lying here.

The monitors continued their vigilance they'd been doing ever since Jim had arrived in the private room of the medical centre.

"I've never told you this, I'm not even sure if you can hear me, but when I was in my coma after the Nero incident, I could. I heard a great deal after I arrived here myself. McCoy woke me up briefly from stasis onboard the Enterprise to tell me what was going on."

Chris smiled.

"I was so proud when he said what a fine job you'd been doing. I asked to see you but that wasn't possible. I had to be in that coma or face the consequences."

Chris looked back at Jim's face, straightening up his chair so he was looking down at his charge.

"When I started hearing the outside world I thought I was going crazy, but then I realised what it was. I didn't really hear the words per say but I could tell when things were going well, when they were going bad," he paused to glance out of the window then back at Jim, "there were times when I heard clearly, so clearly you could've heard the Enterprise purring like a kitten."

He smiled and then frowned in concern.

"She needs you, Jim. The Enterprise needs her Captain. Don't worry I'm taking good care of her, she's got her chief engineer working his magic to make her better. But the sooner you're walking the sooner you can have her back...there's where we need you, all of us. We all need you, Jim."

Chris could've sworn he just felt Jim move his hand of his own accord.

"Y'know, when I was in that coma, you said afterwords you'd only visited once or twice then admitted you'd visited all the time as you were afraid I was going to die even after McCoy had reassured you a thousand times that that wasn't ever going to be the case, well I heard you the one time. Just never told you."

Chris found he just had to look away for a few seconds. When he was okay again he looked back at Jim's face.

"That one time nearly broke my heart, Jim. You sounded so broken and defeated that all I wanted to do was reassure you that everything was going to be okay, but I couldn't, guess I'm trying to make up for it now."

He looked at the monitors and wall display for the slight indication that Jim could hear him.

He couldn't find any.

"You said you'd never known your Father, never really had a father in your life, no patriarch to watch your back and kick you up the backside when you needed it prior to Starfleet..." he hesitated before continuing, "you said you were proud to call me your Father even though George Kirk is your Dad, but like you said, he was just a name in a book, you had no real connection to him, your mother refused to speak about him whenever you asked, you learnt about him through me mostly...well I had no children of my own, being a dedicated Starfleet Captain robs of that opportunity unless you find love with another officer and manage to settle down on the same ship like your parents did."

Chris took a deep breath then let it out, looking back down.

"What I'm saying, Jim, is that I grew attached to you. When we first met in the bar I couldn't believe who you were, the son of the man who saved my life; a lawless rebel."

A small bird landed on the window sill outside and it drew Chris' attention as he continued.

"I told you Starfleet needed more people like you, did everything I could to persuade you... what I didn't tell you was that I was shocked you were trapped in that existence. I had to get you out of there and by getting you to join Starfleet I could keep an eye on you, I owed your Father that at least, making sure his son didn't waste his life and I guess as a result I became his replacement of sorts."

The little bird flew off and Chris' attention returned to the comatose youngster.

"You didn't have the best of starts in life but you turned that around."

He gripped that hand protected within his softly.

"You said you'd be proud to have me as your father, well I'd be proud to have you as my son, hell I am proud of you."

The doors to the room opened quietly.

"Now hurry and wake up, Son. I've got Doctor McCoy on my ass because of you."

McCoy smirked and shook his head in amusement as he approached them.

He glanced briefly at the wall display then did a double take.

"Well wouldn't you believe it, he's actually improved a little," McCoy told him.

Chris looked at the monitors and display and smiled.

"I think he heard you," McCoy said as he went about running new scans on Jim.

Chris turned to look at both Jim and McCoy.

"Maybe."

Both men smiled as the Doctor went about his routines.

"Once I've done with Jim, we can go do your scans if you wish."

Chris nodded in agreement.

"Okay. But, Admiral. If you fail more than three I'm keeping you in overnight and no sneaking back to see Jim, you need to catch up on the sleep you're missing."

"Does that mean you're ruling me unfit for duty, Doctor?" Chris asked.

"I already have. You're still in charge of the Enterprise but if you go anywhere near your office Spock will take charge until I say so and please don't make me do that for Jim's sake!" McCoy warned.

Chris burst out laughing.

"Okay, Doctor."

McCoy nodded in acknowledgement and retreated upon completing his scans.

Chris turned his attention back to Jim.

"Well, Son. I've gotta go, the good doctor wants to make sure I'm okay," Chris told him as he stood up.

He placed a gentle kiss to his forehead and removed Jim's hand from his protection, placing it back on top of his covers.

"I'll see you soon, Jim."

With that he picked up his walking stick and left Jim's side.

McCoy followed him out and the doors closed behind them.

A gentle silence punctuated by the constant bleeping of monitors filled the room as the little bird returned the window sill outside.


End file.
